In my journey of self-improvement I encountered many “enemies”.
Enemies that kept me from continuing. Some where easy to handle some more complicated.
There is no way to avoid or nullify them, we just adjust understand them and try to eliminate them.
Also a technique, that seems weird to many, is to let things be and go on. After all “It is what it is”. (a phrase that changed my perspective of life!)
1. Failure
We all experience failure!
We shouldn’t be afraid of failure. Failure means we tried something, we took action and we didnt make it.
If we accomplish something without failure there is high possibility it was too easy.
Instead of being afraid to fail its better to learn from it. The more we fail the more we learn. But dont get me wrong I dont suggest to aim for failure.
No-one ever won or accomplished something without failure. World know athletes, entrepreneurs, scientists (especially them!!).
We all experience failure in a different way. All though we can all convince ourselves to see failure as a challenge something to be excited about! Excitement and stress is the same for our brains!
Failure isnt something personal.
It doesnt mean u deserve nothing in life.
It doesnt mean you are a loser and unintelligent or stupid.
And definitely it doesnt defines who you are or what you will become!!
Also dont use failure as an excuse. Stand up and say ” I failed but i will try again and again “
In the long journey of self-improvement there will be many fails. Just keep going!
Its OK to fail !!!
2. Take things for granted.
Nowadays we tend to take things for granted.
Things like friendship , relationship, our health , our home, nature or even our time!
In the journey of improvement taking things for granted is a constant enemy, especially after results have come.
Nothing is here to stay if we dont “fight” for it. Either it is our nature, home, car, friends or even our body(hands,feet) ,health and time!
Instead what we can do is appreciate what we already have! Appreciate how far we have gone in life, in our improvement goals and in our relationships.
We better be grateful about the things-blessings under our nose!
A man on a motorbike would want a car he saw on the road.
A man on a bike would like the motorbike.
A man on foot would like a bike!
A man in a wheelchair would like the feet!!
Appreciating and being grateful about “little” things improve our state of being and makes us more present in the moment!
3. Stress
Stress … we all know what it is, we all have experience it!
Its undeniable a part of our life!
So the question is “how we manage it”.
-How do you manage your stress so far? Let me know!-
Some facts about stress are:
- It helps the body/mind prepare to face danger
- It affects both body and mind
- It can be used to our advantage
- It can be manageable
Trying to change ourselves in the journey of self-improvement may cause a lot of stress.
A great way to manage stress is to begin being aware of it!
Acknowledge the sings in you , because noticing the sings is the first step on taking action. Step back and watch yourself .
General a “good life” can decrease stress overall. Exercising and eating healthy (which is part of self-improvement) can help a lot.
I definitely recommend trying some kind of meditation. I know it sounds cliché, but from my personal experience on this I would say it helps a Lot.!!
I could go on and on. There so many i discover about my stress.
The best advice is “step back and be aware”!!!
4. Distraction –
Bad habits
I was a “victim” of bad habits.
I was playing a lot of video games, searching in web and social media, watching a lot of series and endless hours of video watching.
I agree that we all like to do some or all of them and more. And its not bad to spend some time like this, but at mostly these habits are time consuming and keep you from doing other more important staff.
Staff that will help you improve yourself.
Checking our phone every once in a while during the day may seem to us as only a distraction but if we go deeper we will soon realize that we made it a habit,a bad one probably.
Habits like this made my self-improvement journey a bit more difficult than it could be.
Some of them (checking my phone) were easier than others (playing games for hours) to restrain or get rid of!
I still get caught in my old habits some days! I say myself “its ok” for 2 hours for example to play video games.
Putting a schedule will help you a lot!
We need a lot of self-discipline and willpower to stick to our new habits over the old ones!
Imagine both self-discipline and willpower like a muscle! The more we use them the more we build them!!
5. Seeking approval
We ,humans, share an innate drive to connect with others. As research has shown that social rejection activates regions in the brain involved both in psychical and psychological pain.
That’s why seeking approval is natural to happen.
Although it can be helpful when coming from people who care about us or we value their opinion.
But don’t get caught in this.
Approval is fine if its working as a motivation and when it give us that good feeling of accomplishing something we value and others too.
Beside that seeking approval is something we have to avoid.
Especially at start many people may say to you that self-improvement isn’t that important after all.
So they may not approve it. And I won’t lie that a trick to avoid it is to just do it without say something about self-improvement. “i just feel like going to the gym.” and that’s all.
If you have someone around you already involved in this he/she could help you.
Do what you wanna do and stick to it and approval will come, approval that will help us go even further.
6. Do not Go with the flow
This one may seem to you similar to -Seeking Approval- and may be a bit.
In whatever society we live in. There is a flow. A flow that most people follow. A flow of what to to in your life or how your life should go i.e. School – college – job – family and kids.
We wanna be in the minority that doesn’t. Especially in the area of self-improvement.
Make the mindset that we will do things the other way. Things that most don’t do, so far.
I had to deny things to make space and time for self-improvement. That is a example of nit going with the flow.
Its hard in the beginning, as every beginning is. But it will become easier later.
There is a high possibility we create a flow. That flow gonna help a lot.
I wanna create a flow with that blog. I discovered the ImproveLand and i saw with my own eyes how does it feel to self improve. And i want you to join that land and see for yourself.
7. Not Letting things go.
The last but definitely not least is Not Letting things go.
A psychiatrist once went in front of her audience with a glass of water filled till the middle. All thought that she would ask “do you consider it half empty or half full” but to their surprise she just asked “how heavy do you think that glass of water is”.!!
Mamy answered.
Then she said! “it depends on time I will hold it”.!
If i hold it for 1 min – it gonna be ok.
If i hold it for 1 hour- my hand gonna hurt.
If i hold it for 1 day!- my hand gonna be paralyzed.
The same thing we do with thoughts. The more we keep them in our heads the more we hurt ourselves.
Here comes the letting things go.
Not only thoughts in our heads but also things that happen in our every day life.
I know it’s hard to do that fro everything. I want say ignore everything. But “bad” things happen to all of us in many areas and times of our lives.
That’s life. Especially about things we cannot control we must let them go.
For example if someone was rude to us without any reason at all he/she may had a hard time at home. We cannot solve that. We just “pass”.
Letting things go is a way to bend our reality.
We live the reality we believe mostly in our minds.
A skill that definitely helps in this area and many more is meditation!!
Conclusion.
As we will move to ImproveLand and self-improvement there be some or all of the enemies mentioned above. As in every aspect of our lives difficults exist!
I encountered many of them myself and I still do! The very first thing I do is to recognize them and then confront them. I accomplish that by being aware.
Stick to your goals of self-improvement. Set realistic goals and a click further each time. And awesome things will come!